As we went about our Thanksgiving Day I began considering the observance of the holiday we celebrate here in America. For me personally, I could make a list containing the freedoms I most cherish: Freedom of religion tops my page, and I hope never to take it for granted. I have the freedom to attend whatever church I choose, something a large portion of the world cannot do (think of China). The freedom to homeschool my daughter (something Europe increasingly frowns upon) is also important. Whose belief system do I want Joelle to embody when she grows up? The belief system rampant in the Teachers’ Union? The constantly changing belief systems driving our too often misguided government? The welfare state? Entitlements? Healthcare? All are suspect, and our reasons for choosing to travel down the homeschooling road before she was even old enough to enter school were clear. We have the right (or freedom) to do what we believed was best for her (and us), and we do not regret the decision to dedicate one of her parents to the years-long project. Raising a child is also a years-long project, and we now have a sweet-tempered young lady who loves to go to church, who will have read the Bible from cover to cover for the second time by year’s end (and will start the third go round January 1st), and who doesn’t bend in any theologically or politically motivated wind that blows through the local school. In other words, she’s learned to think for herself. She is also a straight-A student who loves to read (she averages 6,000 to 8,000 pages of extracurricular books a quarter), and has the added benefit of not getting every cold making the rounds, while we never worry about her catching a flu she isn’t exposed to.
Expanding the net on this morning, I left off considering the state of the freedoms I most value and began considering the state of my health. This would be the observation portion of today’s entry, and I let the holiday be my motivation for a list in this instance too. What is going on with me since I’ve returned home from my dental revision in Texas? The results are a mixed bag, and as I await Monday’s tooth extraction I wanted to observe what has changed, for better or for worse.
What has changed: On this side of the page I can list several little but quite encouraging things that have already made my life better. First and foremost is the cessation of my hourly trips to the bathroom. When someone has a hard time walking, it is adding insult to injury to be required to get to a toilet every hour, and defines the reason why shopping became almost an impossibility for me. I did learn the location of every restroom in every store I frequented though, if that has any benefit! Now though, the time limit is three to four hours, which is a marked improvement. Next, I’ve been able to start writing again, something I’d put aside for a year because I couldn’t seem to concentrate. Is that an improvement? I sure think so. Lastly, and this is an inexplicable one, I could say that I truly feel better. Feeling better is a state of mind, I think, and my state of mind has improved. Although I’m not functioning correctly, I feel like I am. Odd, but true.
Now, on the more discouraging side of the ledger: I’ve frequently had to go back to using the walker, a regression I was so unwilling to make. That walker is a symbol of all I can’t do, and it irks me just to see it, no less to have to use it. Next, the twitches have come back. Not long after I arrived home I realized that they were returning, and that also irked me! For two too brief weeks in Texas that annoyance had departed, and having it return was yet another loss. Whatever is holding up my progress tooth-wise, it is also obviously affecting my legs. In trying to keep things to three, my last problem to list would be the fact that my insomnia is back as well. I’m back to sleeping for four hours, awakening, and then being unable to sleep again for at least another two to three hours. I regularly get eight hours of sleep, but my nights last longer than I’d like to do so.
In conclusion, I’ve been thinking about how much time and money we spent making that trip to Texas and there are, as of yet, no visible results. As of yet. I’m not angry about this, because I was told in no uncertain terms that my progress would be a long-term process, but I had expected some real results to hold on to or to see, that would show that something was happening. That hasn’t happened externally, and I can’t see the internal, though my next blood test should tell us something. Have I regressed or progressed on the blood chemistry side of this equation?
I can only say that more time will be needed to observe what I have to be ‘thankful’ for on that score.