It’s been seven days since I had my tooth pulled. And what are the results? Sadly, there have been no changes except that the hole in my mouth is healing–though that is just making a new cavitation that I will have to have cleaned out at a later date too. Other than that, nothing has improved and nothing is solved.
So, where am I mentally? Right now I’m living in frustration, because frustration seems to be the only stock in my portfolio that’s on the rise besides pain. I’ve been searching for spiritual signposts too, but because I’ve found none, I can’t figure out which way to go next either. Tooth number 5, the other tooth in question in this unending search for the root cause (no pun intended) of my problems, is now doing just what tooth 4 did before it got removed: Hurting. There is still pain that extends up my cheek to my eye, and only a constant influx of Motrin is keeping it at bay.
The obvious question now is: What do I do? Do you remember that old song, “All’s I Want For Christmas Are My Two Front Teeth”? Well, with a few minor changes (like “All’s I Want For Christmas Are My Two Teeth Out”?), that could be my new theme song. You can’t imagine how much I dreaded last Monday’s tooth pulling. Do I really have to go through all that again? Even worse, if I do, I will be left with a hole at tooth 7 (the rooth canaled tooth which was removed in Texas), a surviving eyetooth (tooth 6), three healing holes, and then tooth 2, all by itself in the upper right back. And the truly ironic part about that would be that tooth 2 was the tooth Dr. Freeman and I discussed way back in October (before my original surgery) as being the tooth in most doubt. How and why has that one survived?
Such a development will put every thought of a permanent bridge out of reach though, because there will no longer be anything left to attach to and too long a gap inbetween. So, considering that ‘most in doubt’ thing, maybe I should just go ahead and have tooth 2 pulled out with tooth 5? Then at least we’ll be dealing with a blank slate.
I am not a dentist, and I have no idea how to proceed. I do, however, know that I’m questioning every decision that has been made after my original surgery, and trying to remember how long it’s been since anything has gone right. This must be what they mean when they say someone has hit ‘rock bottom’.
Rock bottom hurts. And the only consolation I have found down here has to be that there is no place left to go but up.