You know, of all the things that were depressing me last week, the worst was a low level worry I didn’t even mention. Because underlying all the reasons for feeling low laid this one, something I didn’t even want to think about: I’m having new tooth pain. That realization distressed me so much I couldn’t think about it without fretting, and I take Jesus’ words about not worrying seriously: I shouldn’t do it. This is one time that my ability to ignore things I don’t want to deal with comes in handy, though it unfortunately doesn’t solve anything.
Facing that fact seven days later down the road is a reality check. An unidentified source of pain in my right cheek (again!) was more than I wanted to believe, and several of those past days have been spent trying NOT to think about what would be needed if I had to have another tooth extracted. Is there any possible way we can afford a return trip (or more likely two more) to Texas? Or do I just have to have another tooth pulled without cavitation surgery–and then reap the unimaginable consequence of more bacterial growth and more impediments to my recovery? I can’t take that, and this morning I awoke praying/asking/pleading with God, to not have to go through this again.
As with the last time, I can’t even clearly identify the tooth that’s causing the trouble. Is it my eyetooth (tooth #6) or is the other lone survivor in the back (tooth 2)? And the small lump in my lower right jaw might still be a problem too. I don’t truthfully know which it is, and the pain is not specific to a single area other than the right cheek and brow. What is specific though, is the feeling that I have done everything wrong, and have made wrong decisions at every crossroad (even though they were decisions I prayed over and thought were right). I could wish now that I’d had every tooth removed last October and had gotten a full set of dentures. It probably would have cost less than the many extractions and return trip to Texas for the clean-up surgery I’ve had since then, not to mention the expensive plate, crowns, and bridges that were also bought and paid for. Since I didn’t, I’m left with only one question: What do I do now?
“I don’t believe this!” doesn’t cover how I’m feeling this morning. I woke to a mild toothache that has dulled through the morning but has not disappeared. I have not yet emailed Dr. Lane yet, but that too, is no doubt necessary. I’m not happy at trying to tough this out again, but for now that’s what I’ll have to do. I need answers.
And I definitely need prayer.