Several weeks ago I wrote about how I felt like I’d been playing some giant game of “Simon Says” and how Simon keeps ordering me off in in the wrong direction: Backwards. That imagery has stuck with me, mentally at least, and I can’t seem to escape it since I seem to be heading that way once again. Why?
This last week I focused on eliminating gluten from my diet, hoping I’d see some improvement from that. And eliminate it I did, being ruthless about not having wheat products throughout the entire week. No bread, no flour products at all actually, while refusing opportunities to cheat. I ate only meat and vegetables, and homemade granola with rolled oats and nuts which I already knew didn’t have any side effects. And did I feel better?
As a matter of fact, no, I didn’t. I felt worse. So what is Simon saying to me now? Taking a second look back over my food diary I did find one thing I hadn’t previously noticed: I’d made Chex mix Tuesday morning (Chex are gluten-free!) at Joely’s request, but I hadn’t given much thought about the pretzels in it. I can assume there must be gluten in them, but I’d had a very small number of them, too. Were ten or so pretzels enough to produce such a lousy week? And I did have a lousy week. I am tired of lousy weeks, and even more tired of having to write about them. In this great cosmic game I’ve been playing, couldn’t I have had one good week? I am more discouraged this week than I was last week, mostly because I can’t seem to figure out what continues to go wrong. If it’s not the gluten, then what is left for me? No food at all? Quite honestly, I’m beginning to have days when I’m not all that hungry and could easily start skipping meals. I’m tired of having to figure out what to eat, and when to eat it. And I’m even more tired of eating something that just makes me feel worse after than I did before I ate it. Should I go on a prolonged fast? I might be up for that, though I’m not sure it would help anything
As I ask myself these questions, there is one other thing I have to include in such ponderings: Could it be it’s not actually the food that’s the problem, but something else instead? There are several candidates in the ‘something else’ category, and I’m not sure which one to explore first. Number 1) What about the lack of UV light over the winter? We’ve had a year of record snow fall (over 100 inches in our area), and it’s not over yet, which means it will still be a while before I get outside to soak up some rays, despite what Punxsutawney Phil said about that early spring. Yesterday we got yet another snow storm to keep me inside, out of what little sun we’ve had. And Number 2) What about those two teeth I had pulled after I returned home? Because the oral surgeon refused to drill them out according to the Huggins’ Protocol, I have two cavitations forming until I get somewhere to have them cleaned out. Should I make that a priority? I know for sure my leg twitches are continually getting worse again, and I’m back to where I was before I went to Texas. It’s yet another discouragement in a fairly long line of discouragements I’ve already dealt with, so what now? If I can’t go back to Texas yet, are there other options?
Simon says I need to looker deeper into those options, and see what turns up. Then I’ll let you know what direction this takes me.